By Tuhina De O'Connor  |  Member, NYWF  |  New York Asian Women's Center, a NYWF Grantee Organization

There's an old story about a man who shoots his parents and then throws himself on the mercy of the court on the grounds that he's an orphan. As the executive director of New York State's only shelter program for Asian survivors of domestic violence, I encountered a similar situation when preparing to open a new shelter in a Brooklyn neighborhood. For obvious reasons, secrecy is critical for survivors fleeing a batterer. Yet when a neighborhood opposition group revealed the shelter's location - and then criticized the agency for putting the survivors at risk by opening a shelter whose location was known - the irony was rich.

The New York Asian Women's Center (NYAWC), a twenty - year - old nonprofit that provides services to domestic violence survivors, has been subject to community opposition to a shelter called Rose House, which the Center is due to open in a residential area this November.

Neighborhood opposition to Rose House began to emerge in August. Since then, there have been four community meetings with up to 200 residents attending. Roughly two articles or media stories have run about the controversy each week since late summer. None of the media outlets published the address.

The idea of a shelter conjured up misconceptions of what this facility would actually be like. Representatives from the Center explained to concerned neighbors that battered women and children are different from a homeless population: they are not criminals, and they are not at fault for their situations. Survivors of domestic violence come from all walks of life, ethnicities, and socioeconomic backgrounds. No neighborhood is immune to this horrible - yet often very private - crime.

In fact, when I speak to women's groups, I introduce myself by saying, "One third of us will experience at least one violent episode with an intimate partner. "Many of us are under the impression that domestic violence happens to a certain type of person, that it is terrible, but that there are advocates to help these victims. We let others take care of the problem. What else can we possibly do as a community to help?

There is a price for remaining silent or denying that the problem exists in our own circles. Like everyone, I would like to think that not one of the wonderful women in my life - my sisters, my friends, my teachers, my colleagues - is the unfortunate one out of three. However, I know that I couldn't possibly be that lucky. I am glad there is someone dedicated to protecting them, even if I as an individual cannot.

Domestic violence residences offer support and reassurance for a few months while women look for housing for their families. The 24 - hour security and staff allow them the peace, which many of us take for granted, to sleep restfully at night, perhaps for the first time in months or even years. The confidentiality of the home offers safety, easing the minds of these women, while they quietly - and anonymously - go about moving on with their lives. It is because this confidentiality is paramount for effectively and safely helping these families that nonprofits helping survivors do not advertise the opening of a new safe residence. At the New York Asian Women's Center, we aim to be good community members, providing security and alert staff for our neighbors who may need us for emergencies of their own. continued on page

The opposition to Rose House revealed ugly biases in the neighborhood, suggesting that people of different races or classes are not welcome. Local residents alleged that the shelter was backed by Asian organized crime, that batterers looking for their partners would pose a danger to the neighborhood, and that the shelter would encourage transient traffic and sanitation problems, leading to a drop in property values. One angry person suggested that opening the shelter might provoke arson.

Worse, the anti - shelter activists placed the survivors them - selves in danger by establishing a website that posted the shelter's address and pictures of the Center's staff members. Foes posted "No Shelter "signs on lampposts directly outside the House and held a rally to draw attention to its location. Indeed, in some instances the enmity is overtly personal: I have received threatening telephone messages. Despite the Center's efforts to be open and accessible to our immediate neighbors, our attempts to form an advisory committee and to take some concerned community members to another of our residences on a site visit were rejected. One neighbor didn't mince words: "We just don't want you here. "

Thankfully, shelter supporters have begun to mobilize. By creating their own website to communicate with each other, download sample letters to elected officials, and strategize about which community meetings to attend and how to be most helpful to the cause, this group of brave neighbors has persuaded elected officials to mediate the conflict. Rose House will open by the end of the year as planned.

We at the New York Asian Women's Center work for a day when those escaping domestic violence need not hide, when we all take responsibility as a neighborhood watch to ensure that these women and children are safe. Until then, agencies like ours work with community support to help so these courageous women can make it on their own.